A year ago today, I bought this stupid alliterative domain name and put up a dumb little post. I wasn’t really sure what I was doing. I still don’t really know what I’m doing. I almost didn’t start a blog at all, because I’m not really sure what my voice and place is.
A year ago today, I hadn’t yet signed up for the WDW Marathon or any race. I wasn’t in the throes of planning a Walt Disney World or Disneyland vacation. I’m hardly an expert runner or an expert Disney aficionado. I don’t even have a nice camera.
A year ago today, I was still forcing myself to get over some disordered eating habits. I wanted desperately to enjoy eating again. To not feel shameful or guilty. I was trying to tell myself I was over them, but I really wasn’t. Not yet. I was getting better, but it doesn’t happen overnight.
A lot of times in the past year, I’ve thought about abandoning this blog. I’m not sure I’m the type of person who is cut out for “the blogosphere.” I pepper my stories with swear words. I post poorly lit, blurry iPhone photos. I’m not always positive. I’m not interested in appealing to wide swaths of people or using a blog as a platform for advertisements. I get stressed and anxious a lot, and that means I abandon the blog for weeks at a time while I try to sort things out.
But I always come back. I’m still not sure I have a real reason to. I definitely can’t provide better Disney advice or better recipes or better photos or better training plans than so many of the custom-designed, insanely perfect blogs that are out there.
I think I come back because maintaining this has kind of helped me. When I write about my eating disorder, it makes me feel kind of ridiculous. Of course, I don’t think I’m stupid. I know it was a real problem for me and a real problem for thousands upon thousands of people. But it helps me sort through and process my behavior and see it in other lights. And today, I’m so much healthier than I was a year ago. I eat pretty much whatever I want and rarely feel guilty. And that’s amazing to me.
Writing reviews of Disney hotels or attractions is almost pointless, I think. There are so many professional or at least better-informed resources out there. But it serves as a kind of diary for me. A way to relive my experiences and bring out my photos so that they’re not just languishing in obscurity (obscurity being my iPhoto folders or a Facebook album, I guess).
There are so many running and fitness blogs out there, and I don’t think anyone wants to read about my completely average per-mile times and how I slack off on my training. But talking about it here encourages me to shape up and go for new things. I’ve run a marathon and a half marathon in the past year, and I’m signed up for four more races between now and January.
One of the best things, though, is that people have reached out to me through here or on Twitter, and I’ve communicated with people through their incredible blogs. I’ve gone to a meetup and spent some late nights out on the town with some really genuinely amazing people who I never would have connected with unless I started writing this damn thing … shoutout to the lovely and wondrous Estelle of This Happy Place Blog, Melissa of Mouse on the Mind and Andrew and Adam of the Disney Hipster Blog and people I haven’t met IRL but are still awesome like the Sarahs behind Running at Disney and Eating WDW and new fabulous acquaintances like Jenn and Moon at The Fairest Run of All!
So it’s been one year, and I’m still here. And I am thankful for everyone who is here with me. Cheers.