Dealing with Race Anxiety and Competitiveness

Posted on May 22, 2013 by Katherine

My first race ever was the 2013 WDW Marathon. It’s kind of unheard of for that to be a person’s first race, but I wanted that experience to be just that — an experience, a feat, something where I push myself and don’t just run the same amount that I would on a Sunday when I have no other plans and happen to fall into a good running rhythm.

After I finished the marathon, I could barely imagine ever running a race again, much less just running for fun. But as the days went on, my memory started to do that selective thing where I recalled all the fun parts before my body started to shut down. And I figured now that I’ve had the experience, now that I know what it’s like, I could probably do it again. And I want to do it again.

AW YISS GET READY FOR THIS AGAIN

But I figured I owed to myself to train better. Follow a plan to minimize injuries and increase my mileage incrementally. Try to do a race without braces or bands or other support. Try to marathon in under five hours — shaving that pesky nine minutes off my finish time — but also to finish stronger and harder and feel better afterward.

My marathon training had been somewhat derailed by illness, injuries, holidays and an increasingly hectic work schedule. I decided I would do better for my next race, which I signed up for after I got home from Disney in January — the Madison Half Marathon in Madison, Wisconsin, very near my hometown. My sister talked me into it. She had just picked up running a few months earlier and wanted to do a race with me.

This will be me! Soon!

And now race weekend is upon me. The Madison Half is on Sunday morning, and I’m finding myself in the throes of race anxiety just like I was before the WDW Marathon. While I’ve been more dedicated to a training plan this time around, and must only go literally half the distance, I’m still doubting myself, my abilities. The weather in New York City has been a crapshoot for the last few weeks — cold to hot to sauna-like humidity — and I’m finding it difficult to find a groove, as my body seems like it needs time to acclimate to the conditions before performing well.

Additionally, I’ve been cutting back on goo like fast food and booze and focusing on whole foods and lots of grains and vegetables for the last few weeks, and trying to keep myself hydrated. I’ve also been trying to make time to adequately stretch and foam roll. Despite all this, I’ve been dealing with some debilitating cramps on my runs lately, which is making me nervous.

Finally, there’s another element that has been nagging at me. The first time I went running with my sister was a quick six-mile run late last summer — and I left her in the dust. She had just taken up running after a few years of being sedentary, and she was a bit overweight (not that I was doing so well myself — I was getting over runner’s knee and was underweight, getting over an eating disorder). This is mean-spirited, but I must admit I was happy when I was faster than her. As a kid, I was the furthest thing from an athlete, while my sister had always been praised for her athletic ability. Sports came naturally to her, while I spent a large portion of my childhood in the library. I was happy I had pursued something athletic and gotten better at it. Look what I can do, world!

But over the last year, my sister has gotten better too. And though I haven’t run with her since that time last summer, it seems our times are very similar. Part of me hates this. I’ve been running longer. I want to be better at it. I want to run a faster time than her in the half. I deserve this!

I hate that I get so competitive. I mean, it’s a race, so some level of competitiveness is expected and necessary to perform your best. But I shouldn’t be comparing myself to every person on the course, including my own family.

Sisters!

There is the other, more reasonable part of me is proud of her. I was proud and happy when she came to me for running advice, proud when she followed it, and proud when she got to a healthy weight and seemed to match my speed. Maybe we’ll run together on Sunday. Maybe we’ll both do well. Maybe I should try to stop worrying at this point — all I can do is my best.

Favorite Tradition: Lapu Lapu at the Tambu Lounge

Posted on May 21, 2013 by Katherine

I’ve mentioned before — in my first Drinking Around the World post, which feels so long ago — that I am quite fond of heading to the Tambu Lounge and indulging in a Lapu Lapu or two. Two of my favorite blogs, Running at Disney and Eating WDW, recently highlighted the drink, and I feel like revisiting my history with it, so what the hell. Here goes.

On one of my first trips back to Walt Disney World as an adult of legal drinking age, I was accompanied by my boyfriend and best friend. We did a Magic Kingdom rope drop for the first time ever, so we were able to get in several rounds on Space Mountain and the Carousel of Progress and all our favorites. The biggest crowds were in Fantasyland, which was not yet New and which didn’t appeal as much to a trio of people in their mid-20s, but we decided we needed to go on Peter Pan’s Flight — which had one of the longest lines in the park. So we got FASTPASSes for hours later, and continued around the park, finally conceding that we had done all of our favorite attractions and we were starting to tire of the crowds and we could really use a drink. But alas, we were at the one park that doesn’t feature a kiosk pumping out Bud Light at every corner. We ambled down Main Street and I suggested heading out of the park to satisfy our happy hour cravings — we could get on a boat to somewhere. Or a monorail.

We ended up at the Polynesian, which I always had an affinity for when my parents and I toured the monorail resorts when I was a kid. White sand beaches, running water through the grounds, koi ponds — just that whole delightfully kitschy ’70s structural look. Oh man, I love the Polynesian. And I was about to drink there.

We snagged the last three open stools at the Tambu Lounge and I told my companions that I was going to get the most tropical drink on the menu — something that was served in a tall ceramic tiki glass or a coconut shell. Or a pineapple. I zeroed in on the Lapu Lapu and ordered it without hesitation. I was on VACATION, and I was drinking at the POLYNESIAN. No other drink would even be appropriate.

Tiki-style drinks are always among my favorites because they’re made with sweet fruit juices, but multiple types of rum usually offset any potential cloyingness. The Lapu Lapu is no exception — a hollowed-out pineapple containing tropical fruit juice (I’m sure pineapple, maybe guava? Passion fruit? It’s hard to discern, especially after the alcohol starts to hit you) mixed with Myers’s Original Dark Rum and Bacardi 151, the latter of which can certainly pack a serious punch.

It’s basically a perfect drink, and a perfect way to break up a day at the Magic Kingdom. We moved on to other drinks, like sparkling wine — I love how Disney parks and resorts always accent a class of bubbly with a skewer of berries — or Kona beers, and when we realized we were about 30 minutes away from our allotted Peter Pan FASTPASS time, we settled up our tab and hopped back on the monorail.

It was so perfect, in fact, that I found myself longing to do this again and again, on each subsequent visit — even when I scheduled a visit to the Magic Kingdom the day before the WDW Marathon with the excuse that there was no alcohol in the park, so my boyfriend and I wouldn’t be tempted to drink the day before we each had to run 26.2 miles. Well, guess how well that went … in the midafternoon, we found ourselves at the Tambu yet again, me with my precious Lapu Lapu and boyfriend with his traditional Tambu selection, the Backscratcher — regular Bacardi, Myers’s Original Dark Rum, Jack Daniel’s, passion fruit juice and an actual bamboo backscratcher. I know that it’s ill-advised to drink right before running a marathon, but we really couldn’t resist. Also, I needed some booze to numb my nerves. I was so anxious about running! I followed it up with a Kona Longboard Island Lager and headed back to the Magic Kingdom for my highly anticipated dinner ADR at Be Our Guest, where, yet again, we were persuaded to get a drink. So much for planning an alcohol-free day at MK!

Thoughts on Disney Fandom, The Theatre and “A Public Reading of an Unproduced Screenplay About the Death of Walt Disney”

Posted on May 17, 2013 by Katherine

To begin, here’s a somewhat lengthy bit of unsolicited background about me and The Theatre: I used to love The Theatre. It excited and possessed me. When I was very young, I was painfully shy. I blushed when people talk to me (I still do this sometimes) and found it difficult to speak up in class or around crowds. And yet, some internal part of me was drawn to the idea of performing. I pushed myself to try out for elementary school and community theatre plays, and people were amazed that suddenly I spoke, loudly and clearly and without hesitation. The idea of acting was thrilling to me, and it seems I wasn’t completely terrible at it. I was in all manner of plays and musicals (though I didn’t have much of a singing voice) all throughout elementary school and high school, usually snagging lead or at least sizeable speaking roles. The first time I ever visited New York City, I stayed four nights and saw a different Broadway show each night. I memorized the “Rent” soundtrack. I shed tears just talking about “West Side Story.” I loved The Theatre.

Then I moved from my smallish Midwestern town to a larger Midwestern city for college and decided to continue dabbling in The Theatre, but being around people whose whole lives were consumed by The Theatre suddenly made it considerably less appealing. So many Theatre People were painful clichés, and suddenly the songs I had loved and the words I read seemed so cloying. Even newer, more innovative takes on The Theatre just seemed hackneyed. Around this time, I fell out of love with a lot of my previous obsessions, and I think there are several reasons behind that, but now’s not really the time to get into that. The point is that I had pretty much given up on The Theatre.

I moved to New York a little less than four years ago completely sans enthusiasm about The Theatre, which had been overflowing during my first visit a decade before. My mom bought and sent me tickets so that my boyfriend and I could see “West Side Story” on Broadway, but despite my former love of the show, I really couldn’t get into it. I decided to look for something a little more off the beaten path for my next attempt to recapture any feelings for The Theatre, and snagged tickets to a low-key (but sold-out and much-loved) production of “Two Gentlemen of Lebowski,” a performance of a former viral sensation that took “The Big Lebowski” screenplay and rewrote it in, well, “Shakespearian.” I love “Lebowski” and Shakespeare, and when the play first become an Internet phenomenon, the entire text was available online (it’s now a published book and therefore not available for free on the Interwebz) and it made me giggle repeatedly and marvel at the melding of two worlds. But somehow, when I saw it performed, the magic just wasn’t there.

Then, my boyfriend got tickets through a work colleague to see “Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson” at the Public Theater. By this time, I really thought I truly hated The Theater, and was hesitant to go. When we got there, our playbills referred to the show as an “emo rock opera” and when the lead, Benjamin Walker (who later starred in “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter,” a film I did not see and I’m not sure that anybody else saw), came out on stage and said, “Are you ready to rock?!”, I do believe I audibly groaned. But then something crazy happened. I loved the play. It was witty and intelligent and well-acted, and the songs didn’t make me bored or angry. Maybe I didn’t hate The Theatre after all!

Side note: “Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson” moved to Broadway shortly after I saw it, where it faced dismal attendance and closed after only 120 performances. Y’all don’t know what you missed. Either that or I’m not a good judge of things.

Which brings me, I suppose, to “A Public Reading of an Unproduced Screenplay About the Death of Walt Disney.” Noting my ambivalence about The Theatre, it’s hard for me to stay on top of things. But a friend of mine, who happens to be far more literarily and culturally engaged than I am, alerted me to this play, which was doing a run from the end of April to the end of May at the Soho Rep, a tiny theatre that I, of course, had never been to.

This is a thing that happens to me now, as an out-and-proud Disney fan — friends just randomly send me links to Disney-related news or videos. But this was more than just something I had already read on a theme park blog. Someone had made art about Walt Disney. Someone had brought him to The Theatre. I probably had to go, right? Yes. I had to go. And I had to find someone to go with me.

Luckily, ever since the Disney blog meetup from a few months back, I have been assembling a cadre of in-real-life Disney friends. I lobbed the idea of the play at them and the delightful Estelle (of This Happy Place Blog fame) answered my invitation. We selected a matinee showing that was followed by a presentation from NYU professor Andrew Ross, who spent time in the late ’90s living in Celebration, Fla., and subsequently wrote the book “The Celebration Chronicles: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Property Value in Disney’s New Town.”

Just a few days before Estelle and I were due to see the play, reviews from outlets like The New York Times began trickling in. I didn’t want to read too much on it, as I wanted to form my own opinions. But the few reviews I read or skimmed seemed to verify my initial thoughts on what the play would be and was: a highly fictionalized version of the man who was Walt Disney presented in an almost jarringly artistic fashion.

The title of the play was my first clue: a reading. Of a screenplay. Not a play. A movie. The set was a boardroom, funereal music piped in. The actors — portraying Walt, his brother Roy, his daughter Diane and his son-in-law Ron — sat at a conference table with their scripts, a pitcher of water and a platter of fruits and vegetables. Larry Pine, the commanding and captivating actor who played Walt, spoke the nondialogue script cues into a microphone. He gave us the scene numbers, the settings, the character directions. Dialogue that is spoken is choppy, staccato-like. The actors jump in on each other’s sentences. It is Art, you are seeing Art, and don’t you forget it. Thankfully, it finds a rhythm and you kind of fall in with it, this world, this story of Walt Disney dying as told by an iteration of Walt Disney that capitalizes on the world’s most outlandish theories about him.

As a person who can’t go a day without thinking about Disney, it’s safe to assume I am a bit more knowledgable about Walt and his ideas, his products, his parks than the average man on the street or theatregoer or even Disney tourist. So of course I’m going to notice and be somewhat bothered by inconsistencies and incongruities and anything incorrect. But just because I choose to have a hyperfocus on these things doesn’t mean I’m better than anyone else. It’s not like you have to pass a trivia test to pass through the Magic Kingdom turnstiles. Some days I feel like I wish you did have to pass a test, and I’m sure other Disney aficionados occasionally feel this way as well. I know I’ve stood behind people in attraction queues who were being disrespectful or annoying, or maybe they were talking about something they knew nothing about, and I’m sure I rolled my eyes and sighed and felt like a better person than those people. People are possessive about the things they love. Loving what you love makes you feel good. And people are competitive. People like to feel smart and accomplished. But it’s off-putting to people who don’t share your passion. You come off as pretentious or rude, or insane or obsessive. If you find people who are passionate about the same things, banter can escalate into judgment and pissing contests. You shouldn’t have to feel like you’re the “winner” of your interest — that you know more than anyone else and challenge someone whose opinions vary slightly. But it happens a lot.

What I’m trying to say here is that judgmental part of me was balking at the things I knew were wrong. There were many elements of the character of Walt Disney in the play that were clearly nonsensical. But Walt Disney is such a widely known and highly mythologized figure. There’s no way to address everything he created without addressing the deity-monster complex. There are persistant reports that the man was ragingly racist and anti-Semitic, which have been, for the most part, been proven to be not quite so true. But who takes the time to find out? Who wants to? On the flip side, for many people, Walt Disney was a god. Love of his creations can cause blindness to the man’s faults. He had faults. I’m not naïve enough to think you get to such a position in life by being flawless and unrelentingly good.

Not to mention that millions of people are pretty sure Walt Disney’s head is frozen somewhere. You just can’t not address that. You can’t.

I guessed that playwright Lucas Hnath had made this decision on purpose. It was clear that some research had been done, but I felt like the gaps between the truths and falsehoods had to be intentional. It seems this was a correct assumption. In an interview with NYU Local, he said, “I would say that the play is not about him as a person so much as the idea of Walt. There’s the personal in the play, but the Disney ethos is the aesthetic that is also part of the play. [...] My research is intentionally very spotty, because I’m worried about the plays turning into book reports or bio-plays, or becoming ploddingly researched. I’ll find a few things that [pique] my interest, and then like fence posts, I’ll thread together a couple of factoids about these people by filling in the rest with things about me or my family.”

Moving on to the actual substance of the play — Walt was dying. He was done with “fairy tales and fairy things.” He wanted to focus on real things. Like nature documentaries. But when nature was not being real in the way he wanted it to be real, he had to manipulate it. He was a perfectionist. He knew what he wanted and he set out to get it. He wanted to build EPCOT. The city, not the theme park. He was obsessive and focused. I’ve read Neal Gabler’s biography, and I really enjoyed having these elements of the man come together for me. I could relate to it, and I feel that the play captured this.

Moreso, though, as the character of Walt repeatedly coughed blood into handkerchiefs and put away a bottle of vodka and ruminated on acquiring land in Florida and his unbuilt city and dealing with obstacles and being the namesake of his unborn grandson and freezing his head, it became clearer that this was more than just a tribute to or critique of the man who was Walt Disney. It was a meditation on legacy — what we leave behind versus what we want to leave behind, ambition and creation, finality and eternity. It’s a powerful thing to address through The Theatre, especially with Walt Disney as a guide. The result was itchy, darkly comic and quite captivating.

My First Trip to Walt Disney World

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Katherine

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and if you are a part of any social media site, there is no way you could have overlooked this, as everyone was posting pictures and tributes to their moms. My mom isn’t a social media person so I didn’t really see the point in changing my Facebook picture or posting an overwrought missive that she’d never see, but I began to rethink that decision when I saw Disney friends and fellow fans posting old pictures of family vacations at Walt Disney World as their Mother’s Day tributes.

Many moms were lauded for laying the groundwork for an undying love of anything Disney, and my mother was no exception. I was so obsessed with Mickey Mouse as a child that we wore out “Silly Symphonies” and “Disney’s Sing-Along Songs” VHS tapes and I was the Mouse for Halloween for several years running (never Minnie, never a princess … when I got into “Star Wars,” I always went as Luke instead of Leia … I wasn’t really a tomboy, I just understood the value of premium characters). When “The Little Mermaid” came out in the theater, she took me several times, and then endured hundreds upon hundreds of viewings when that came out on video. (I probably would have dressed up as Ariel for Halloween if I had grown up in a climate that would have allowed such attire.)

But perhaps most importantly, she took me to Walt Disney World for the first time when I was naught but a wee child with a mullet. And then several times after that. And I remember those more recent trips better, but by all accounts I was hooked the first time I stepped foot in (or, more likely, was strollered through) the Magic Kingdom turnstiles.

So here’s me, and also my lovely mum, during my first trip to Walt Disney World. As a late-20-something currently in the midst of planning two trips back to WDW in the coming months, I am grateful she exposed me to the magic at such a young age. It definitely stuck.

Wine & Dine Half Marathon, Here I Come

Posted on May 10, 2013 by Katherine

I think runDisney is now officially my most expensive habit. If you happen to read what I write on an irregular basis (since I don’t update this with any real regularity anymore), I had been whining about how badly I wanted to experience the Food & Wine Festival for the first time and how amazing I think running the Wine & Dine Half Marathon would be. It’s a culmination of everything for me — EPCOT, which is my favorite park; food and wine, which are the best things; and running, which has played an increasingly huge part in my life over the past few years.

I will never tire of this backdrop.

A few things were standing in my way, however. One is the lack of interest from my significant other, which means I’d likely be a solo traveler, which leads to my second issue: the expense, climbing ever higher when I’m the only person occupying a Disney hotel room.

As I pondered whether Wine & Dine was worth a solo trip, runDisney opened registration for the 2014 Marathon Weekend, and I was too tempted by the 10K and another shot at the full marathon to resist signing up for both. Thoughts of doing the Dopey Challenge — a 5K, 10K, half marathon and marathon over the course of four consecutive days — were tempting, but ultimately common sense (you don’t have that much money and you’ll probably hurt yourself) won out. I haven’t gotten my boyfriend to register for any of the races yet, so this may well be a solo trip, but I figured I have over half a year to save for it, so there’s a way I could make it work.

I was still monitoring the Wine & Dine registration levels, and my heart leapt earlier this week when I saw them jump from a stagnant 80 percent capacity to 91 percent in the course of just a few hours. It was like there was a voice in my head, urging, Now is the time to act.

But I’m already committed to runDisney in January. I don’t have anyone to go with. I’m not sure how I’ll save enough money. (I was arguing with myself now.)

But you already have the time off. You still have half a year to save. You want to do this more than you want most other things. This would make you happier than most anything else. Besides, won’t you regret this horribly if you don’t do it?

I stopped and thought about it. Yes, there are probably better, more responsible financial choices I could make than saving and blowing all my monies on two WDW trips within a three-month window. But, if I were to be honest with myself, those really wouldn’t make me happier. I spend so much damn time reading and writing and thinking about Walt Disney World, and obviously I just want to be there.

But before I registered, I decided to check how flight prices looked. With some careful monitoring, it’s usually not too hard to snag a flight in the low $200s from the New York City area to MCO, which is about as low as flights to different states seem to get these days. I decided to put in outlandish parameters on my search — nonstop flights only, an early morning flight on my first day off and an evening flight on my last day (to absolutely maximize my time in the parks), and not including Newark in the results (I don’t want to travel to Jersey at the crack of dawn).

And boom. There it was. Exactly what I wanted. $202.

AND I WAS ALL LIKE THIS

So now the race is booked. And the flight is booked. And I’m not quite sure of all the rest of my plans, but I’m psyched out of my mind to be heading back to my favorite place in LESS THAN SIX MONTHS! Let the countdown begin!

Review: Le Cellier

Posted on May 8, 2013 by Katherine

Ah, Le Cellier! The legendary steakhouse nestled in EPCOT’s Canada Pavilion! How I longed to visit it for years, tired of the overcooked red meat I’d eaten at other Disney restaurants! Is it too much to ask to get my favorite food — rare beef — at my favorite place in the world? I needed to join the masses singing the praises of Le Cellier and cross the restaurant off my Disney Bucket List!

There was a bit of a damper after I snagged my ADR, however. Le Cellier was deemed a Must-Do by nearly every Disney blog I visited when I began my Adult Disney Renaissance, whether the blog was food-focused or otherwise. When I made the reservation for my last WDW trip — Marathon Weekend in January 2013 — I began to notice that the tides had turned somewhat regarding the Canada steakhouse. Frequent visitors’ favorite steaks or equivalent fancy meals seemed to be increasingly found at resort restaurants — Yachtsman Steakhouse, Artist Point, ‘Ohana or even Kona Café. No one seemed to have a bad meal at Le Cellier, but the word I kept reading over and over? Overrated.

Now, I haven’t been visiting Walt Disney World frequently enough in the past few years to justify the thing I’m about to say. But I’m going to say it anyway. It seems that Le Cellier was a hidden gem for awhile, in an earlier yet not-so-long-ago time period when Disney put less of a focus on quality, “foodie”-worthy meals. (Sorry for using the f-word there.) Then, as the Disney blogosphere grew and flourished, and more people realized food could be a focal point at the parks, Le Cellier gained its cult status. But as Disney opened more restaurants and revamped the quality of its offerings at long-standing ones, people began to tire of the cheddar cheese soup and filet with wild mushroom risotto. And maybe people had to wait too long to snag an ADR, and their expectations and the Internet hype had far surpassed anything the meal could actually live up to. I actually had that experience on this trip with a WDW dinner — but with Be Our Guest, not Le Cellier. That’s a post for another day, however. Maybe tomorrow.

We had one of the last available seatings at Le Cellier — basically during IllumiNations. It’s dark in there, but has a romantic feel — it’s not overly “themed.” My pictures are kind of terrible, because my camera isn’t that nice and I never really learned to take photos in low light, so sorry about that! Anyway, we were seated by this amazing painting, which I was obsessed with.

The best painting of all time. OF ALL TIME

Le Cellier had undergone some transformations the very day we ate there. They were now a “Signature Restaurant,” meaning it counts for more credits or what have you on the Disney Dining Plan, which means nothing to me since I don’t believe in the DDP. I guess it works for some people, but I am not one of those people. Our waitress — who, by the way, was probably the best server I’ve ever had anywhere on Disney property, and I wish I had gotten her name, so I could tell the goons at corporate to shower her with accolades … instead, we just left a huge tip — told us right away that they were debuting a new menu the day we ate there. It was the day after my boyfriend and I had ran the WDW Marathon, and though we had been Drinking and Snacking Around the World all day, we were still famished and completely ready for a huge meal.

Le Cellier features an array of Unibroue’s Belgian-style beers. I am fond of La Fin du Monde, but I was in a wine kind of mood, and luckily so was my boyfriend. We narrowed it down to two bottles and asked for our server’s advice to make the final decision. She was quite knowledgeable and extremely helpful in helping us choose (and then helpfully replacing our wine ice bucket when it was close to overflowing)! I also went to town on the pretzel bread in the bread basket. You can’t beat pretzel bread.

We each decided to get our own appetizer. Even though we were both planning to eat steak for dinner, I couldn’t pass up wagyu beef carpaccio! Wagyu beef is heralded as tender and buttery, and this carpaccio was no exception. It was topped by a generous amount of capers, which I love, as well as a frisée salad with white cheddar flakes and radishes, all tied together with some lemon oil. It was amazing.

Boyfriend decided to go with a crab salad, which the waitress said had been added to the menu that very day. Though I am fond of most seafood, I tend to avoid crab and shrimp — there’s just too much imitation, frozen and poor-quality iterations of these creatures that aren’t palatable to me at all. But I was urged to take a few small bites of the crab, and it was amazing. Flavorful without any of those pungent, harsh qualities that signify something low-quality.

Both of our appetizers were gone too quickly. Boyfriend had selected the house-specialty filet with wild mushroom risotto for his entrée. He said it was perfectly cooked. Extremely tender. No complaints.

I, however, could not resist the dry-aged bone-in ribeye. Bone-in ribeyes and porterhouses are my two favorite cuts, and even though they’re usually generously portioned, I really have a hard time not ordering one if it is on the menu. Also, I had just run a marathon the day before! I deserved a gigantic hunk of meat. I ordered it rare, and it came with a side of fingerling potatoes and roasted garlic butter. It was huge, especially compared to my boyfriend’s filet. The runner who brought our food tried to give my entrée to my boyf, but I was quick to correct her. The rare manly-man steak was mine, thank you very much.

I was pretty ambivalent about the potatoes, but my meat was cooked perfectly. Finally, an actual rare steak at Disney World! DREAMS DO COME TRUE. It had the perfect amount of fat and tasted like magic. There was noting subpar or overrated about that steak. I ate the entire thing and then gnawed on the bone for a bit until our plates were cleared. NO SHAME.

Suffice to say, we had absolutely no room for dessert. We got the bill and I wondered if it was OK to ask to be rolled or carried out of the restaurant. I was still moving pretty slowly after the marathon and eating all the richest, most amazing food that I’d ever had at Disney World had pretty much incapacitated me.

We were the last table out of the restaurant. IllumiNations was long over; the park was definitely closed. Other late-dining stragglers from other pavilions were also making their way back to the front gate, but it was nice to see the park so empty. The Fountain of Nations was still going strong, and I stopped to take some photos, and also cry a little bit, because I was leaving the next day, and the BGM was playing, and it’s my favorite place in the world, and and and.

Anyway, what was I saying? Something about steak? I guess my point is that Le Cellier is great, go there. And EPCOT is the best, and I miss it and love it.

Hello and Welcome to Cars Land

Posted on May 1, 2013 by Katherine

GOOD HEAVENS IT’S MAY ALREADY

Wow, so, I’ve been mostly busy (as well as purposely not busy) over the last few weeks … wallowing and zoning and planning and working and turning a year older … but I’m trying to keep a Positive Mental Attitude and it’s the beginning of the month and I have a race and some vacations coming up in a few weeks and only about a billion ideas for things to write here so I promise I’ll try to make this a more frequent thing, OK? THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING, HANDFUL OF PEOPLE WHO READ THIS!

I closed out 2012 with a way-too-brief trip to Disneyland (including my first trip over to DCA) and rang in 2013 with a short jaunt to Walt Disney World, where I ran my first race, the WDW Marathon. Because I like to share a lot of thoughts about running and food consumption, I feel like I’ve been focusing on my WDW trip rather than Disneyland, which consisted of two days right after Christmas when the parks were at capacity and we found ourselves without time to do all the things we wanted to do. This was frustrating, as I haven’t had this problem at Walt Disney World in years, and my last two WDW visits were Christmas through New Year in 2011 to 2012 and Marathon Weekend in 2013.

DCA on Dec. 28 was way better than Dec. 27. I’m not sure if there were fewer people or if DCA just has more space and a more walkable layout or if I was just blinded by my excitement for being in the park for the first time, but it really was a great experience. We had spent the night between Disneyland and DCA in Los Angeles and got up early to hit the park again. My BFF and I made it through the gates maybe 30 minutes after the park opened, and she rushed me over to the FASTPASS queue for Radiator Springs Racers. However the line to get a FASTPASS — not the line for the attraction, the line for the FASTPASS — was stretching … and stretching … and stretching … and more and more people were joining … and by the time we found the end of it, we assumed it was about an hourlong wait for just the FASTPASS! We couldn’t even imagine what time our FASTPASS would be for if we joined the line (or even if we would get one), but it wasn’t looking good _ especially since we knew we had to leave the park early to journey back to the Bay Area that night. The end of the Radiator Springs Racers FASTPASS queue stretched pretty much to DCA’s Tower of Terror, so we cut our losses and headed toward the ToT, where we just walked on. It was great.

Once the plunge was over, we decided to head over to Cars Land to see what the standby time for Radiator Springs Racers was. It was nearly four hours — not something we could even remotely justify — but my disappointment melted away, because YOU GUYS. CARS LAND.

Here’s a little secret: I only just saw “Cars” a few weeks before I headed to California. There were a handful of Pixar movies I had never seen, and that was one of them. I mean, I’m sorry, but it was about cars. Like, NASCAR cars. And Larry the Cable Guy was a voice actor. And … I just didn’t see myself in that demographic. But because of my upcoming trip, my BFF encouraged me to watch it. She swore it was cute and that I would like it. “But don’t watch ‘Cars 2,’” she added.

One night after work I had the apartment to myself for a few hours, so I went to my local video rental store/hipster bar (oh, Brooklyn) and picked up all the Pixar movies I hadn’t seen. Including “Cars” and “Cars 2.” And also “Tangled,” because I hadn’t seen that either. (Hipster bartender/video clerk was really giving me the side eye, by the by.) I went home and popped “Cars” in first, and somehow FOUND MYSELF ENTHRALLED. BY THE MOVIE. THE MOVIE ABOUT ANIMATED CARS. AND THEN I CRIED. HUMAN TEARS. AT THE END OF THE MOVIE ABOUT ANIMATED CARS. The animation, the character development, just … the story … was all so vibrant and easy to love. And then, despite my best friend’s warnings, I watched “Cars 2″ and, UGH, I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO HER, as that was atrocious. But then “Tangled” saved the night; I cried like a baby at the end of that one. BUT I DIGRESS.

BACK TO CARS LAND, WHERE I WAS IN DECEMBER, AND IT WAS INCREDIBLE, LIKE THE MOVIE, BUT NOT ANIMATED — REAL. VIBRANT AND EASY TO LOVE, LIKE THE MOVIE. BUT I WAS STANDING THERE. IN REAL LIFE. SOMEHOW. IT WAS PERFECT.

DISNEY KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK WITH THIS ONE. AND I DIDN’T EVEN GO ON ANY OF THE CARS LAND ATTRACTIONS. #CARSLAND4LYFE

DCA Levity After a Hard Week

Posted on April 19, 2013 by Katherine

I did not start a blog to proselytize or really even share any opinions that weren’t really related to food, working out or the Disneyverse … there are plenty of blogs and outlets for covering current events and other topics that are more in-depth, articulate and intelligent.

However, I feel like I have to say that this week has been the absolute worst. It’s hard to keep a Positive Mental Attitude after taking in the Boston Marathon tragedy; those ricin attacks; the gun legislation defeat; the fertilizer plant explosion in West, Texas; and, most recently, the shooting at MIT. These are all serious, devastating events that deserve reflection.

And yet, we must keep moving forward. Or “we go on,” as Disney enthusiasts might be more apt to say. However, I tend to dwell on anything that is bothering me, usually so much so that I become more frightened of it or upset by it. It’s hard to process such things, and it hinders the reflection and moving-forward parts of dealing with difficult events. If it weren’t for occasional moments of levity, the buildup would probably be too much for me.

On my day trip to Disney California Adventure in December, I saw two food stands that made me burst out laughing. In real life. Not just a simulated smile — an actual laugh. (Keep in mind that this was my first trip to DCA, I hadn’t done too much research on it, and I’m a sucker for puns.) I snapped some quick iPhone photos so I could laugh at them later. It’s little things like this that have kept me sane during one of the most difficult weeks in recent memory. What keeps you going?

PMA, Part II

Posted on April 17, 2013 by Katherine

Yesterday, I posted about some struggles I’ve been having: slow, sad training runs in anticipation of a half marathon I’m running at the end of May, not to mention the Philadelphia Marathon in November that I signed up for on a whim; the unexpected loss of a lucrative part-time gig, leading me to reconsider my budget and lifestyle; the temptation of the runDisney Dopey Challenge in January 2014; plus the internal struggle I face as I try to eat well and intuitively. I adopted a hokey mantra — POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE — to help me get through some of these struggles.

JUST LOOK AT THIS GUY

Even though it’s a long way out, I started to get excited about the Philadelphia Marathon. I’ve never been to Philadelphia, but I’m excited to get acquainted with the city by running through it. My boyfriend and I booked train tickets and a hotel room, so we’re already ready to head out!

Meanwhile, runDisney Marathon Weekend registration opened. Even though I’m a Disney Visa cardholder and had the opportunity to register earlier, I abstained from any registering at all. What if I hurt myself during Philly? The 2014 WDW Marathon is just two months shy of what will be my second marathon. Is that enough time to recover, even if I don’t end up hurting myself? Even if I wasn’t doing a marathon in November, would I be able to do all 48.6 miles of Dopey?

I had to think about it logically, putting aside my tendency to succumb to whims. A combination of my new restricted budget, the fact that I’m doing 26.2 in November, and just an overall evaluation of my physical and mental abilities mean that no, the runDisney Dopey Challenge is just not a good idea for me right now.

But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t going to do anything. Did I have it in me for a marathon repeat? Could I possibly do it again? 5K races don’t really pique my interest, and I’d rather complete a full marathon than a half. But maybe the new 10K? The possibility of an inaugural medal for completing just over six miles through EPCOT … and I could enjoy it this time, instead of that last painful stretch through World Showcase in January, wishing my entire body wasn’t screaming for me to stop.

Short races, I realized, are a draw. I kept refreshing the runDisney site and saw the numbers for the 10K climbing faster and faster. In the middle of the afternoon, I saw they had reached over 90 percent capacity. I got this heady, thick feeling, and before I knew it, I had pulled out my credit card and was hastily typing in my information. I was in a 10K daze, and I didn’t snap out of it until I got my Active.com email confirmation.

So that was it. I’m going to WDW in January. I’ve got to; that $85 is nonrefundable. I discussed it with my boyfriend that night, but couldn’t sell him on going. He didn’t turn it down completely, but he didn’t say yes, either. Part of me knew that this might have to be a solo trip, though, and that just means I’ll be saving up for the rest of the year for it. He asked if I was going to do the full marathon in addition to the 10K, that I might as well, as long as I’m there. I said maybe. I held out. We got to talking about other marathons we’d love to do someday — Chicago, Los Angeles, Big Sur. Boston.

Boston is a pipe dream, of course. I’m nowhere even remotely close to Boston qualifying time. If I maintain my current marathon time for the next 40 years and my knees don’t give out, I can qualify then. But no, no, I am far from an elite runner. My boyfriend is much faster than me, but he is not Boston Fast either. But because I know what it would take for me to get Boston Fast — something I don’t think my body will ever be capable of — I have that much more respect for the people who can run Boston, who do run Boston. It’s astounding and inspiring that so many men and women can compete at this level, and on Monday, I livestreamed parts of the race and monitored news outlets and Twitter for updates.

It was on Twitter that I first saw the news, and frantic followup searches indicated that this was very new, that this was just happening; major news outlets had yet to pick it up, everything was just on Twitter for the moment…

WHAT "@BostonDotCom BREAKING NEWS: Multiple people injured near the Boston Marathon finish line after explosion"—
Katherine Rautenberg (@macabresalad) April 15, 2013

At this point people were still speculating that it was a freak accident of some sort, but I had the worst feeling. I was shaking as I searched for more information and some gruesome photos began to turn up. I blinked back tears. I felt nauseated.

I got up from my desk to get a drink of water, text my boyfriend and evaluate what I was processing and feeling. I didn’t personally know anyone running in Boston. I am far from an elite runner. But as a person who aspires to be a multiple marathoner and who is so incredibly inspired by the Boston Marathon — surely the most symbolic race in the country, if not the world — I felt deeply affected by the bombings.

I guess humans are selfish creatures. Or at least I am. When the recent Sandy Hook tragedy occurred, I couldn’t get over how completely unfathomable and awful it was. I hard a hard time processing it, due to the sheer unspeakable evilness of it. It was so horrifying, it barely seemed real. But maybe part of the reason I couldn’t wrap my mind around it is that I am not a mother. I am, however, a runner. A person who may not be Boston Fast, but who has run 26.2 miles in a row. And this attack felt more real somehow, and I felt threatened, and I felt unsafe. It made me think that things aren’t so isolated, that villains don’t just go for easy targets. The strongest and most resilient can be targets. Acts of terror can happen in any location, targeting real people, doing real activities, things that I partake in.

PMA, I told myself. PMA.

I watched the videos and saw people running toward the blasts, acting on instinct to provide care. I read reports of runners donating blood, and cried when I read about Carlos Arredondo, who helped a severely injured spectator — Jeff Berman, a man my own age who was waiting to see his girlfriend cross the finish line.

Then the reactions from runners began to surface. The messages of solidarity helped me to dismantle some of the fear that had been in place since I had first read of the tragedy. People who were running 26.2 minutes in honor of the marathon, or 4.09 miles in honor of the clock time when the explosions occurred, or wearing shirts commemorating the races they’ve completed. It was inspiring. And before I knew it, I had that heady feeling again, and I found myself signing up for the 2014 WDW Marathon in January. It seemed like the right thing to do. To run, to keep running.

I’ve read several pieces today about people who have never really run before but are signing up for marathons to honor the Boston tragedy. This was their first response, their way of filling that jarring hole. While I commend their spirit and their jump to take action, I immediately thought of my initial idea to dive into the Dopey Challenge when I got depressed over my employment situation. I needed to fill a hole, but I wasn’t considering safety, my physical limitations and my budgetary limitations. There is a thrill in knowing your limits, testing them, pushing them as far as they can go. Knowing how to do this without going too far is difficult, and I think the key might be in looking at your motivation — what gets you going, what keeps you going, what the true end goals are — and keeping it rooted in overall positivity, health and self-improvement.

PMA, Part I

Posted on April 16, 2013 by Katherine

I’ve taken some time off of this blog for reasons that you’ll read below. I was going to start writing here again this week, and I had planned to write something about how I find the Boston Marathon incredibly inspiring. I was livestreaming the race and following updates on Twitter when I first came across reports of the explosions. It’s hard to explain exactly how I felt, but I spent a good portion of the day shaking, choking back tears, and feeling like I might throw up. I sat down tonight to write about my feelings about Boston while tying it into the mental reasons behind my hiatus from the blog, but it turns out I have a lot to say, so I’m splitting it into two parts. This part is a lot of personal nonsense. Maybe too personal. Not sure that anyone reads this, but if you are: I’m sorry and thank you.

It’s been almost a month since I posted here. In that time I’ve been struggling with a few things. I’ve been trying to get on a regular training schedule for my half marathon at the end of May and dealing with self-doubt related to my running ability. Though I am eating more intuitively, more “normally,” I feel like I may be letting myself pick up a lot of unhealthy habits. I feel like I’m allowing myself a considerable amount of fast food and candy because I had not allowed myself to eat those items for so long. While I believe occasional indulgences are more than OK, these indulgences are becoming more frequent, and I don’t want to start feeling sluggish or guilty, which would then set off a whole chain of horrible feelings that might trigger some of my more destructive behavior.

Though I haven’t been harming myself by restricting food and overexercising, and many health problems have since diminished, I am admittedly less athletic than I was back when I was still employing unhealthy habits. Though overexercising is dangerous, it did have an effect on my times, and the fact that I’m running slower than I was a year ago is discouraging for me, even though I know I’m a healthier person.

Running is usually a positive force in my life, and though I struggled through my first marathon, I was — like many runners — dying for another shot at 26.2 after a few weeks of recovery and getting back on the pavement. After some discussion, my boyfriend and I decided to register for the Philadelphia Marathon together. That’s right: I’ve scheduled another marathon for myself! But soon after I signed up for the November race, I worried that the next seven months will just be full of more doubt and more injuries and more disappointment.

Now, couple this with some nonrunning stuff — stress at my regular job and even more stress at suddenly losing the majority of my part-time freelance work. I had been counting on that freelance income and the sudden cutoff made me worried, insecure, upset.

Around this time, runDisney announced the Dopey Challenge. Four days, four races, six possible medals … and an indescribable amount of pain. Yet part of me was tempted. If I managed to train for the Philly race more competently than I did for my first marathon in January, my mileage would be up, I’d be kinda prepped for Dopey, right? Imagine how amazing it would be to complete 48.6 miles in four days! Amazing, but insane. I’m far from the mental clarity and physical ability that is required to go through with those races. I also worried that I was trying to find an outlet for my depression at losing my part-time gig, and to throw myself into running might mean I would end up hurting myself again really quickly. Would I be able to do any of the races two months after the Philadelphia Marathon? Plus, my boyfriend has made it clear that he is really not into runDisney as I am, so if I signed up for any of the WDW Marathon Weekend races, would I be heading to WDW solo? Can I even afford that? Especially since I lost that damn job? We’re talking full despondent circle here.

So. I was struggling with how I perceived myself as a writer, worker and runner. I knew I needed some positivity. I tried to remember how good it felt to push myself and get good results on a run, so I asked my boyfriend to come on a longer run with me. When we go running together, he is running at a much slower pace than he is used to; regardless, we generally run together at least a few times a month, and I’m always faster when I’m with him. I guess I’m trying to keep up, trying to not let him down, trying to make him feel like he’s getting a workout even though he is not pushing himself the way he usually does.

Anyway, we set out for a longer run, and instead of our usual route toward Brooklyn Bridge Park, we headed over the Williamsburg Bridge to Manhattan. Though I run the bridge occasionally, I barely do any running in Manhattan, and the course was completely new to me. It was hillier and had more obstacles than the mostly flat course I’m used to, and I felt like I was exerting a great amount of energy. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel like I was in control of my breathing, and my pace during hills sucked, and I got a bad side stitch. I felt shitty. I felt like a failure. I cried a little. What was I even doing? Why am I pretending like I’m a runner and an athlete when I’m clearly so terrible?

That was my low point. And I decided to force some actual positivity into my thinking and my way of life. With an actual mantra, courtesy of a friend:

PMA!

I’m going to keep going with my training plan for the Madison Half Marathon in May. I will push myself, but not get obsessive or out of control. I will incorporate hills and fartleks into my training in an attempt to improve my speed.

I’m going to be excited about the Philadelphia Marathon. It will be an adventure in a city that is new to me. My goal is not even to shave minutes off my marathon time (though I wouldn’t complain if I did), but to finish feeling better and stronger and healthier than I finished the Walt Disney World Marathon in January.

If I have a bad run, I won’t dwell on it or let it get to me.

I will use my new free time to write more — blogs, personal stuff, creative stuff.

Positive Mental Attitude is a hard switch to flip on when I’m normally so cynical and pessimistic. But I feel like every little bit of positivity is progress. And I’m on board with progress.

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